I have been working on my ritual for the upcoming Strawberry Moon (it’s on June 3 in Asbury Park, NJ at the Asbury Hotel! Come!) and this particular moon always gets me thinking about the ease of summer and how much fun we are going to have at the beach or wherever you might be heading in the next few months. No matter what job I’ve had (and I have had quite a few before Witch/ Spiritual Advisor/ Psychic etc) or how much money I had, summer is still the season I think of for traveling and vacation…even when I was totally broke and yes, even when I lived in a vacation town. I was often thinking about being somewhere else, but here’s the catch: I had an outrageous fear of flying. Like a lot of fears, there was nothing logical about it. I took my first solo flight when I was six years old (insane!) and did many solo flights in my childhood, but despite the frequency, it never got much easier. My dad tried to offer logic and how unlikely it was that there would be a crash or any sort of accidental malfunction, but that didn’t help either. I have always been a grip the arm rests, squeeze my eyes shut, and scream internally during takeoff kind of flyer. (And yes, sometimes those scream were external and that never helped me make any friends among my fellow passengers. When I was flying as a young adult, I took advantage of the copious amount of airports bars that were endlessly available and open at all hours to alleviate my anxieties. (A 6 AM flight is no problem when I could be well on my wasted before boarding!) There was a period of time when I was in a long distance relationship and flying frequently to see my guy which required a connecting flight in a popular hub. I developed a regular seat in a bar at this particular airport and the bartender knew me by name and knew my drink order (three glasses off the cheapest champagne and a gin and tonic. That was how I started.) At the time, I had no idea that maybe being a regular in an airport bar whose initial order was four drinks could possibly be a problem worth looking into? Getting blacked out drunk was basically the only way I knew how to get myself on a plane, and there were many times I awoke from a blackout on a plane and had to track down a flight attendant to ask where we were landing because I had no recollection of boarding said plane and had often forgotten where I was heading anyway. And that’s how I was raw dogging through my fear of flying!! What could possibly g wrong with my full proof plan?? Well, I got sober. The romantic relationship that had me flying all over the place ended and I was beginning to enjoy bing present and being in one place for longer than a spell. I focused on building my business and my spiritual practice and fully committing to my sobriety in my new home of NYC. And in sobriety, my career began to take off and work offers were coming in that would bring me across the country and back again and here and there and all over…which obviously required me to get on a plane. Something I had to try sober, and I was honestly terrified. Remember, I am someone who has screamed through a takeoff. I have audibly prayed to the Universe, I have held a stranger's hand, yes, I have cried during epic turbulence because the lack of control and the fear of the unknown in flight has been almost too much for me to bear. A total dream come true work opportunity was being offered to me, and it really was too good to pass up. I promised myself when I got sober that I would never miss out on an incredible, amazing, and wild once in a lifetime opportunity ever again due to fear or any sort of self sabotage so I knew I had to take it.
I decided I was going too handle my fear of flying the same way I have handled everything else that has scared me or felt too immense to take on: WITH MAGIC. And what follows, my darling, is a ritual I used before that monumental flight that alleviated my fears and made it possible for me to get on that plane without a drink! I still do this ritual before every flight, and before the pandemic, I was flying somewhere every four to six weeks for two years! I still have some slight apprehension around travel, but it’s not because I am afraid to fly anymore, it’s just that I love my home and my cat and my life here in NYC so I hardly ever want to leave! (I still love to travel and have adventures and see new sights and have new experience, visit my friends and family and bring my work to YOU wherever you may be…I have a Sag rising after all ;) )
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